I know I am not alone.....

I am 27 years old, married, and have a 6 year old daughter. My husband served 12 months in Taji, Iraqi while active duty in the US Army. I started this blog because he has PTSD along with a spinal cord injury. The Army decided he was no longer fight for duty and medically discharged him on 07/2007 with 0% disability. This was the beginning of our fight. Our life struggle. So were we surprised they discharged him at 0%. I would be lying if I said no. He was hurt all the army surgeons told him he had "black" disc. No such thing as a "black" disc. He didn't have a disc. Apparently this is a more common problem in the military, yet they don't do anything to medically correct it. His PTSD was not being treated either after repeated cries for help. Okay so now what you ask? Well once we found out that he was out of the army with all the medical issues, it was a race for me to find a better paying job to provide for our family and obtain medically insurance so that he could get the treatment he desperately needed. We had to move back to our hometown, Saint Louis, MO. Thankfully the army moved us, but we couldn't find anywhere to live because I just started a job and he couldn't even work. We had to live with my father until we found someone willing to rent to us. We did it wasn't much and the neighborhood was a lot different from the military life we came from but it worked. I went to work as my husband sank deeper and deeper into his depression. He was also starting to have extreme symptoms from his spinal injury, lose of movement in his lower limbs and other things he would be upset if I typed. Helpless because the VA kept telling us he had no claim, which he did, but it wasn't transfered up from Nashville, TN yet. So I got him a spinal surgeon who was willing to see him, since he was a West Point graduate and served he had a place in his heart for veterans. To our surprise my husband had to have immediate surgery to repair some of the damage in his spine. During this time I didn't have enough money or PTO to stay at home and help him recovery so he did most of it solo. At that point I felt like the worst wife in the world. I was unable to provide the needed support. We paid for the first surgery, not the US ARMY, not the VA, we did. Since I worked at the hospital they took it out of my bi-weekly paycheck for which also came health insurance for myself, my daughter, and my husband. This all less than 2 months after his discharge. To be continued.....

The point of this blog is to tell our story. Because at times I feel as if I am the only iraqi freedom veteran's spouse who lives with the daily emotional struggle of being such. Between the spinal injury and the PTSD some days seem endless and forgotten. I have tried to find a support group or a counselor that specializes in this area but they are only provided for the actual veteran. I find this very upsetting because 95% of the time, except for when he goes to his PTSD counseling, I am his support system, but how am I supposed to support him emotionally when I don't have anywhere to go to ask for help to support him. When he was active there was a support system, FRG, and other resources, now that he isn't active any longer there are none. I will write daily or as much as time allows because I don't want another spouse to feel as alone and helpless as I do.