Drama and Let down

Sorry I haven't posted, dealing with drama. I'm not sure if others can relate, but being married to someone with PTSD is almost like having 2 full-time jobs. Although I know my husband can not hold a job, has PTSD, he is home a lot! When he was in the Army I was expected to clean, cook, bills, and take for my daughter. I am never going to complain and say it was hard, because to me I LOVED IT! I miss it in all honesty I wish I could have those days back. It seems though ever since he was discharged I have been a fish swimming up stream. At first he used to get so mad, so he would pack his bags and leave not to be seen for days. We eventually got over that hump, then the divorce talk started.....fast forward to 2010. He left me and was seeing other women. So of you will think, "Is she nuts?" well you could call it that, but I lived with my dad and my daughter for about 8 months. My husband and I eventually re-kindled and moved back in together in august 2010. Two months later he lost another job. There are so many things because if he was an average joe kind of guy then I would have let go and moved on. But how do I punish someone who can't control everything in their head? I can't it's not me. I hold on to all the memories and all the love and that is what keeps me going. I am not going to say I am a angel, because I am juggling so much I lose my temper and say hateful words. I just don't understand what he is going through and he won't help me to understand. He does not involve me in anything. I wonder how can someone be made if they are not trying to help? I ask so many questions, but still come up empty handed.

What do you do? What does a women who had a husband who isn't the same anymore? Do you just give up? I was raised in a broken home and so was he. I just want a fair chance at life for the both of us. How can we have a fair life if he isn't working and has PTSD an Spinal Cord injuries? He has no hobby, no true friends. He sits around all day and is just depressed. I am at a loss. No words of mine or actions will help make it better. I consistently give in, because I don't want to argue or fit. Does it get better?

My next blog will go back on track. Just dealing with this at the moment.