Before I begin with the next few months of our crazy story, I would like to thank my readers and other wounded warrior spouses for their support and giving me the courage to continue on.
A few months had gone by after his first surgery and money was too tight so my husband, Matt, did what he had to do, he went looking for work. Matt never fully recovered from his first surgery, but we just couldn't make ends meet. He finally found some work at an auto body repair shop as a car porter, but he was asked to do much more than that. See the problem is when people look at Matt they see a 6"8, well built man....they don't see an injured veteran. So they asked him to do things he told them he couldn't do, for example; push a car, load heavy equipment, lift things, it was just awful. Since he did all this work it did nothing more than make things worse. Plus he was no help at home. He just couldn't. I couldn't even to being to tell how frustrated I was. I would work 9 hours sometimes more, take care of Lilly, cook, shopping, bills, clean, laundry, and anything else that needed to be done. Christmas came and we made the best of it. Everyone gave and received something. I decided to make cookie mix in jars and give them to family and friends. More so as a thank you for helping when they could or just lending an ear.
One of our biggest problem at the time relationship wise was that Matt was so impacted by PTSD, that he would get so hyped up he couldn't calm down. So he would pack his bags and leave. Most of the time I had no idea where he was. I hoped he was safe, but that's all I could do. When he did come back I used to think, "What the heck am I doing with this guy?" but I knew the answer, I always knew the answer. I loved him and he couldn't control what was happening all the time. We utilized the VET Center for counseling. Our counselor was very understanding and was genuinely concerned. They helped us as long as we went. Matt just sometimes was worried about going. Worried about the feelings that came back again when he would talk about his PTSD and what he thinks caused it and how to cope with it.
January came and he was then told by his spinal surgeon that the first surgery didn't take and now Matt had to have a spinal fusion. He told his work that it wouldn't be for 3 weeks and they let him go that week. Nice, right? So there we were he was getting ready to have a spinal fusion and no paycheck. No one would hire someone about to have a major surgery like that. Plus when he filed for his unemployment, the owner of the company told the office my husband quit. He appealed it and still lost. The owner even admitted letting him go due to the upcoming surgery, but it was still ruled against.
January was also the month I found out I had to have my right thyroid removed. I had have thyroid problems since the birth of my daughter. At this point the size of it was bigger than a golf ball and smaller than a lemon. This also meant I didn't have enough PTO time to take my full amount off. I had the surgery and all went well until my pills became missing. The VA had given my husband 300+ Vicodin for every month. So he developed a problem. A bad problem. Pawning things, taking money, taking my pills, and borrowing money from family. And now he is going to have another surgery......to be continued.
Again thank you.
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